Saturday, August 4, 2012

Total Recall Forgot About Mars

An AK Movie Review

I did an impulse movie tonight.  Total Recall. Who could forget the  Arnold Schwarzenegger original?  If you expected another jaunt on a Mars colony seeking freedom from their earth overlords forgidda 'bout it.  It was deleted from this version of the movie.  Mars has been replaced by Australia.  But the Overlord is still there. Ayers rock does kind of look like something from Mars I suppose...but it doesn't make an appearance.  By why Oz?  Is there any more freedom loving people than the beloved Sun loving Aussies?  Hard to imagine them putting up with Pommie domination. 

The entire plot revolves around two surviving post-apocalyptic nations, The United Federation of Britain (UFB) and The Colony (Australia). Britain apparently has annexed most of Western Europe after the Rothschilds bankrupted them (I'm reading between the lines - that's not stated in the movie) and they're all ruled from London in a kind of Rothschild wet dream. Everything in the movie is rather wet - even Sydney.  Botany Bay seems to have been tiled over with left over Cube Habitats from the 1967 Montreal Expo.  The French Canadians probably got tired of them. Seems the Brits have decided to use the Antipodes for their domestic grunt work force, at least those bits they haven't automated yet. The beat cops are all "synthetics" (robots). Almost like the ones in Anaheim! They shoot to kill with some pretty amazing ammo.  Not much humanity needed in that job description. I miss the optimistic view of  future in Roddenberry's Star Trek, there's far too much dystopia in movies these days. 

Now this is where the plot gets weak, they've got anti-gravitic and MAG LEV cars, cubical elevators that run on MAG LEV tracks in three dimensions, but they had to drill a hole in the earth to Australia to commute the Aussies back and forth to London in a globe spanning World Tunnel. They can do all this and can't travel through a cheap worm hole?  I know people that create portals with PVC merkavas, a rodin coil and a MP3 player. Did the Brits stick to linguistic form and call it the Wunnel? Nope...the tunnel is called "The Fall".  The implications of that Biblical word is quite obvious. Fallen Brits live in Australia. And they are rebellious. The Mythical Criminal Class.

The Aussie end of the bargain in this Rothschild miasma is like ground hog day on the Blade Runner set. Only without the Mexicans, flying Japanese Blimps, curbside gene splicers and LA Smog.   The Aussies have had their country poisoned by some unnamed poison gas, presumably in the last great Rothschild war which depopulated most of the planet. America is gone. But what you do expect of Whitehall when it comes to the Prisoners of Mother England? Everyone lives in one big city dominated by massive apparatus of "The Fall".

Some of the plot is the same as the old movie,  but to be honest Sharon Stone plays a better bitch!  How can you hate Kate Beckinsale? I found her flaws simply patriotic, in a demented British kind of way.  She's a good Tory and she's just doing her job for Queen and Country.  She's almost James Bond-ish. Kate's character is  probably on the same steroids Thatcher used - and you know how militant Maggie got until she bollocks'ed her career with that damn poll tax. (Ssshhh...don't mention poll taxes to Romney! He'll make poor people pay the same property tax as rich people....)

This movie is laced with symbolic references to the Cabal, including the UFB national logo, a Zionist Star with an extra triangle overlaying it. Perhaps the additional triangle is the one eyed pyramid? Someone has mined the Internet for cabal symbols!  Heavy mention of resistance against the UFB and the UFB is busy doing false flag attacks and blaming the Aussie "Resistance". S'truth mate! Australians are the new Al Qaeda! Symbol hunters will have a field day with this movie, can't wait till David Icke gives it a go. I predict this movie will be panned by critics. 

Its not really that bad of a movie, if you hadn't seen the original.  I'd go see it just for the SciFi imagery and symbolism. The flashbacks are few and not confusing.  I hated the strobe lights at the beginning. That's a cheap trick to cover a bad set - or perhaps send epileptics into a fit on the floor. You know in real life no work force would put up with strobe lights in the hallways. Its annoying! Unless of course your going to adjust that timing on that small block Chevy engine. Just close your eyes.  Ridley Scott started that nonsense in the Alien movie, and people have been copying it ever since.  Total Recall 2012 is a mash-up of many Sci Fi movies.  You'll find yourself counting them.

I thought for a minute they were going to reprise the Fat Lady with the dividing head in Australian Customs, but the director, Len Wiseman, did a head fake on that and took it another direction.  I'm supposed to say I won't spoil the movie, but if you've seen the original and cut out the Mars bits, you've seen this one. Matthias, the Resistance leader, doesn't have a conjoined second head brother Kuato (as in the first movie) under his trench coat, in fact he's not even Aussie, sounds like he's from Cambridge!  The only mutant is the 3 breasted prostitute and to be honest they flashed that so quickly I barely caught it.  

I miss Mars.  Richard Hoagland you told us there'd be Mars in this new one....  Did I mention no Mars? Arnold your legacy is safe, even if your tenure as Governor was...well not a blockbuster.  At least this movie was well edited, which is more than I can say for John Carter.

The movie ends with a billboard in the background that says "Total Recall 2012"......hmmmmmmmmmmmm.  We can only hope.
 I give this movie 3 out of 5 chrysanthemums.  


  1. Thanks man

    I hope the world does have total recall soon as well.

  2. hey look there's a total recall tv series.

  3. Good call A.K.~! The problem with remakes in general is that there's too many of them. Then again, the deeper issue with Hollywood is: "if it worked once it will probably work again and we'll still make money if we freshen up the product with some superb special effects just enough to make it interesting."

    In Hollywood the studio heads these days are at times "bean counters" who are more worried about profit than product, which makes "Total Recall 2012" a safe bet for them. What they fail to realize at times is that remakes of any kind boil down to the writing and the director's craftsmanship of a film.

    As a writer myself, I believe that the key to remakes is to take apart scene by scene from original film as well as going back to the original short story, and then go in an opposite direction while still freshening up the story so as not to repeat yourself, which will be apparent on the big screen, if you do remake a film. That's where the real challenge is. It's not impossible.

    It's not like the script isn't punchy for this version of Total Recall, but again, it needed to be pushed and expanded in my opinion. When I saw the trailor where Kate Beckinsale says: " I give good wife!", this gave me the hope that this was a positive nmove because it had Arnold Schwarzenegger overtones and seemed to pay homage to him and the original film. Just remember when Arnold says to Sharon Stone after she gets knocked off: "Consider that a divorce."

    The other issue with the studio heads is that they are many times in a rush to make a profit which always shows up in the finished work. Has anybody also noticed how the previews of such movies so often show the best scenes in such films and when you watch the results on the big screen end up disappointing? I sure have~!

    The cast and crew here are all good personnel. Colin Farrel is a good actor. What he should've done career-wise was make an action flick every year which would've given him more credibility in the muscle department and in the action flick category as Tom Cruise has done before he made this movie. This would've helped this film out a lot. Colin Farrel is better than the current incarnation of this material here, by the way. As a director, Len Wiseman is always good. The female leads of Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel always deliver good acting performances.

    The trouble with this film is that the script could've been expanded more so. Sometimes it's the littlest things that accent a movie and give it more of an emotional impact. When in doubt just revisit the masters: Alfred Hitchcock, David Lean, Terence Young, Guy Hamilton, Cecil B. Demille, etc.

    What is important here though is one of author Philip K. Dick's themes spread out throughout his work which is "What is reality?" Essentially the main character goes on a journey which causes him to wake up and discover who he really is. This is what humanity has been doing lately which is happening faster by the day.

    With regards to David Icke, his latest book, "Remember Who You Are" says it all and connects to Total Recall both with both old and new versions in what humanity is currently remembering and understanding with our own evolution.

    And finally: we all like a great story. No matter what, solid story telling is at the heart of it all~!

  4. You may have missed your calling AK, this is a great review. I probably will never see this move, just because it isn't my kind of fun, but what a well written, humorous and informative critique!

  5. The original short story, by Philip K. Dick, upon which the film was based was called: "We Can Dream It For You Wholesale", in case anyone is interested.

    As with all of his work it delves into the relationships between the conscious, sub-conscious, and super-conscious mind. Don't expect an action-hero story, P.K.D. didn't really go in for that kind of thing, although from the many cinematic treatments of his work (Blade Runner is perhaps the most famous, based on "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep") you wouldn't guess just how existential his stuff can be.

    It is worth considering just how influential P.K.D's work has been, and how incredibly prescient it is under the current world circumstances; life imitates art, and art imitates life. Given the fact that he died in 1982 I find that his themes seem uncannily to predict the world we now find ourselves exploring. Which of course begs the question: "how many new-agers, star-seeds, lightworkers etc. have read him?"

    Oops, that sounds just a little bit cynical!

  6. The story seems a bit whacky.... United federation of Britain vs the Colony.

    Just because the Pomms can beat us in the cricket now and also in the pool doesnt mean that they can rule the entire planet.. geez talk about delusions of grandeur.

    Yes the sun has set for the inbreds in the UK.

    As an Aussie the storyline is way way whacky though when I read your review I immediately thought of ancient wars of the past.... Lemuria (Oz) and Atlantis (Britain).

  7. Good review. This film was a whole bunch of fun and even though it was very predictable, I still turned my brain off for a good 2 hours and enjoyed myself. Also, can't go wrong with a cast like Biel, Beckinsale, Farrell, and Cranston, just to name a few.

  8. AAAAAAGGHHH dude... LOL... that's was a CRACK-UP of a film review

    BRILLIANT... very funny indeed

    Got quite a laugh.

    You really gave it to'em, in the right sort of way they deserve.

    And i want to REALLY thank you for providing us with the first film review (I've read) from the perspective of those of us who know about the Cabal/illuminati

    I give the movie 1 Lucifer star, (and your review 5 Lucifer Stars

    1. Thanks...I think....there's no inverted pentagrams on this web site! LOL!!


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