By American Kabuki (Bill)
Just an update on the Morocco trip, my traveling friend has been delayed so I've decided that his time lines are probably not going to coincide with mine. He'll probably come along later once he gets his projects finished. I know he wants to meet Heather. He has obligations he can't get out of right now that prevent him from traveling. So time for me to move forward with what I need to get done. I am going to attempt to raise some funds for the $1500 airfare I need to get there on my own. I know he'd buy it if he could go, but he can't right now.
Lots has been going on at home, my spouse and I are parting company, this has been brewing for a number of years and it seems to be mutual. I've known for a number of years this day was coming. We'll end up friends, we began as friends. We're filing a no-fault divorce in California which in most cases doesn't even require appearing before a judge. But its awkward at times. But I know if I don't pursue my heart I'll end up back in the ICU I was in 2009. The body, mind and heart have to be coherent to be well. I must go. I did my best to make it work but its not working. I agreed to be out of the house by the end of November so that's my current bottom line. After that I am homeless. My partner is not a bad person and I'll never say anything bad about her. She was a wonderful mother to my daughter. She just doesn't quit get the intensity I felt about what I am doing the last couple of years and desires a more "normal" life and avoiding attention. I've never done "normal" very well... nor do I blend in well. I want to change the world into a better place. So there lies the basic conflict. No right or wrong to it. It just is. Different personalities and needs.
I have work to do and a place to stay. But first I got to get there. And the nice thing about what I will be doing is that its not dependent on any country, and I can keep doing it when I leave, whenever that may be. My desire is to stay at least a year and become very fluent in French and maybe learn a bit of Arabic too. I have some rudimentary "taxi-cab" French skills from year I spent working for the French TGV train installing computer systems ready for the Channel Tunnel Eurorail system, but they need much polishing. I feel very much at home in French cultures and Morocco has a lot of French influence.
Once I get there I might even be able at long last to remove ads from my blog, if things go well. That's been kind of a necessary evil for me as a tiny source of income as I have been in this transition since 2009 from coming literally back from the dead (I had the whole Near Death Experience thing), exploring what the dimensional change was I was told about was in my NDE (thank you Blossom Goodchild and Sheldon!). I have spent the years since 2009 rebuilding my body, muscle control and health, when I got out of ICU I had to relearn how to walk and feed myself. Then I rebuilt my leg muscles so I could go up and down stairs safely, I lost fine motor skills and control and had to redevelop that. I am healthy now and I can go overseas and pursue my joys and passions. Lots of years left in me so its time to go be productive.
If you can, and feel motivated to do so, please consider sending $5 or so via the PayPal link on the right side of the blog. With the size of the readership I have $5 does a lot. This is a real need for me now. I've got less than 5 weeks left here and I'll probably be backing close into the end of my November deadline now just trying to get an affordable air fare.
Once I am there I will of course keep the blog going as usual. Location doesn't matter for that.
In any case that's what's going on here. I love you all and thank for taking the time to read my blog and for sending me all the wonderful emails, articles, thank yous, criticisms and jokes that I get. I really do have an amazing audience of readers. You mean so much to me! Love you all!