By American Kabuki
a : the intensification and enriching of a musical tone by supplementary vibration
b : a quality imparted to voiced sounds by vibration in anatomical resonating chambers or cavities
c : a quality of richness or variety
d : a quality of evoking response
(Source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
The issue is resonance. Resonance of TRUTH within YOUR BEING. When I was involved in a mini-reformation in an American Christian sect I came to understand that not all interpretations of scripture rang true to me, and that things that rang true, rang like a BELL. It reverberates in your being as true. That which did not ring true was often a source of consternation and disharmony within my BEing.
Resonance is key, for all is frequencies of light and love. Love is the BEING, and LIGHT IS THE DOING -> DOING IS LOVE IN MOTION... DOING IS LOVE IN ACTION. Christians might say "Faith without Works is Dead". But so again is KNOWING without WORKS, DOING...is just as dead for its only potential energy not yet converted to kinetic energy. Faith is just a few states short of KNOWING, and many people these days KNOW but have not yet learned to DO.
I have been very successful in my blogging DOings and that has been because I write what resonates with me, and it often resonates with others. I always write like I stand naked before you all. There is no shield or barrier when I write on my blogs. But there are things that I want to DO beyond the keyboard world of words and bits and in physicality. I AM in transition at this moment, and I do not know completely what I AM going to DO next. That's okay, my entire life is transition. I have made it 6 months here in Morocco, and I know it will soon be a year and all is well.
During my youth I had propensity to stir people. I still do. My father was often upset at me for speaking what was true about our family. Children have no pretense, that comes in time from learning to avoid pain or criticism from others.
One of my earliest memories was an encounter with my Sunday school teacher, explaining Jesus to the class. I hadn't really wanted to go Sunday school, I would have rather been playing with my Tonka construction trucks in my sand box at home. My father at that time was non-religious but my mother thought I needed training in Methodist Sunday School. The teacher was explaining to us at Scottsdale United Methodist that Jesus was THE Son of God. This is of course one of the three legs in the three legged stool of limitation in Christian doctrine, called the Trinity.
She asked us if we had any questions. I raised my hand and asked the obvious, "HOW did you he become the Son of God?" Her trite reply to me was "because he lived a perfect life!" I asked a follow-up question, "If I live a perfect life will I be a Son of God?" Her eyes flashed anger and frustration at that question because she did not expect it. "No Billy, you will be an angel!" This really bothered me. How was it in my 5 year old world view that one human could be so highly thought of and gain this status through DOing and another could not be by the same doing? There was no RESONANCE WITHIN my being. When I got home I explained to my father the conundrum of what I was told, and told him I did not want to go back because I did not think the explanation was fair. My father agreed and said I didn't have return. And that ended my journey with the Methodists.
A few years later my father had his "conversion" to one of the American Christian apocalyptic sects known as the Worldwide Church of God. There are many similar sects. This one was unique in that it believed God was a family rather than Trinity. That resonated with me to a great degree.
My father was in military intelligence during World War II in the North African campaign and the invasion of Sicily and Italy. He flew his P-38 fighter plane as security escort to President Roosevelt's boat trip to Yalta over the Mediterranean Sea. I grew up hearing about the Illuminati, Communism, The Vatican, The Rothschild Bankers, John Birch, and Immanuel Velikovsky (of Worlds in Collision fame). My father spoke of these things, things he knew about from the war, all except his connection to military intelligence. I only learned after his death, he kept that secret to his death. The things my father spoke were not heard on radio, TV, or newspapers of that time. I was at times embarrassed because none of my friends dad's spoke of these things. I wondered if my dad was crackpot. Teenagers don't like to stick out. Yet he did know things and he did have very unusual experiences in during the War. Nobody could deny that.
Late one night a preacher man came on the radio while working late repairing a customer's car and he spoke of a united Europe that would come and that it would be repeat of the Nazi third Reich, this got my father's attention. His memories of the war, and Nazi brutality were quite fresh in his mind. My father bought into the scenario described, and the associated fear and donations that he gave as a kind of insurance policy from God for an escape from these purported prophecies of the End Time. Much of it fit many of the things he knew about Europe and who ran it and America. Unfortunately this led him and his family on 15 year detour through the religion of Herbert W. Armstrong which was really just one giant money extraction machine. My journey lasted another 15 years in that organization after my father left it, which kept me in constant conflict with him. What my father did not know was the intimate relationship organized religion has with banking, in creating limiting beliefs, blind obedience to "authorities" and also religions role as the ideal money laundering outlet. Donations are often cash and real estate.
I remember being required to go through what the church called "The Bible Correspondence Course" (all 69 of them). These things bored me to tears as they amounted to a careful bread crumbed trail of scriptures through the Bible designed to lead you to certain conclusions. Any other trail was discouraged, for this was "THE TRUTH". Text without context is always pretext. And this course was certainly that. But I had an authoritarian military disciplined father, and compliance was required, either that or run away, which I did do briefly once at age 15.
One day in utter boredom. I just read the gospels for what they said. I read these remarkable scriptures about love, and about not returning violence for violence, not returning spite for spite, and the remarkable concept loving your enemy. I didn't quite understand the why but I did know my church was not teaching these things. I felt RESONANCE to these teachings. I did not know why. I just knew they were not doing them or teaching them at church. They'd rather talk about the end of the world rather than make a better world NOW. It was a life of fear rather than of PRESENCE.
There were many years that followed, and I began to believe that this RESONANCE that differed from religious teachings required me to defer to spiritual "authorities" of my church. My church taught that children did not have the Holy Spirit (Eternal Essence) and that only baptized adults did (years later I realized there'd be no life without Eternal Essence if that were true). We were considered intrinsically evil from birth, by virtue of the "fall of man" at the time of Adam, until "saved" by water baptism in Jesus name. I came to distrust my RESONANCE, to subdue it. When RESONANCE BURST FORTH, I even considered it the work of the devil distracting me from the path God had laid for me. But still it would not go away no matter the religious programming. The still small voice of truth and conscience was always there.
When came into my 30s as a man, this resonance grew, and the conflicts with my belief system became even more apparent. Finally I found myself in full conflict with the religion because was all a lie to make money. There was not even the pretense of religious conviction (one can understand doing something because they believe it), only marketing plans to shift doctrine to a more profitable one. It was after all a "non-prophet" organization. After all there were building mortgages to be paid and they have had some lovely Pasadena properties along the Rose Bowel Parade route. I basically declared war on the religion and defeated it with the help of a small army of people working with email lists and webs sites providing factual material that was long covered up. It was in fact, good training for what I did in 2012 and 2013 on my blog. Almost everyone I work with has found themselves being in conflict with the religion of their youth. I am not unique in that.
When the OPPT filings came out, they STRONGLY RESONATED with me. IT STILL DOES. But early on there was some information given to me personally about my identity, which I have not blogged about, in another life, that caused me great difficulty. I was supposed to be honored by this purported knowledge and the plan it involved. But it put me in great internal DISSONANCE. It DID NOT FIT MY BEING. I once again, like I did in my youth, deferred to people I considered spiritual authorities and knowledgeable in a number of other matters. Yet all humans make mistakes.
DISSONANCE IS THE LACK OF RESONANCE. It DISABLES CONFIDENCE. IT DISABLES LOVE. LOVE THRIVES IN THE RESONANCE OF TRUTH.
I think the intentions of those who told me this, were innocent enough. They had their reasons, and beliefs, and searches they were doing, which have since changed on many subjects. We've all grown hugely since that time. But it was ME that LOOKED to EXTERNAL AUTHORITIES, rather than RESONANCE WITHIN, that caused the dissonance within ME. I didn't listen to my resonance and I couldn't understand why I was in constant turmoil as to my own being and existence. I was in constant search for a solution and it was all external.
I am not the only one who has gone through something like this. There are others who found their own "experts", gurus", galactic historians, akashic readers, astrologers, rune casters, palm readers, Tarot cards experts who have had their own dissonance detours in recent years. Mine was just one on steroids.
I came to this understanding last night. after a rather heated Skype discussion with an old friend. They completely missed the point I was trying to make, and then tried to put another layer of EXTERNAL beliefs projections and motives on me that I do not have. And it just royally pissed me off. Don't get me wrong we will both be joking with each in a week, but we are all triggering each other here in Morocco like popcorn kernels in hot argan oil.
I won't repeat what I said them in response. But the interaction was useful (Thank you love) because the strong emotions the exchange invoked in me, resulted from me realizing for the first time in 15 months that I was angry because I LET an EXTERNAL SOURCE OVERRIDE my RESONANCE to begin with, and they were trying to do it again. BASTIA! NO MORE! I love them dearly, but no more of this nonsense!
TRUTH IS FOUND IN RESONANCE. Its the only way you will navigate some of things that are coming. And it will not be exactly the same for everyone as each life is different.
I do not know who I was prior to this life. All I know is what I have memory of in this life. That's the only data I have. And that's plenty enough to deal with at this time.
I love you all! Hold on to what rings true. Nothing else matters.