By American Kabuki
Yesterday I was looking at my bank account and noticed a bounce charge. It was caused by a software vendor doing an annual subscription renewal against my PayPal account. I had no idea there was an annual subscription for that utility software I purchased a year ago to fix Brian Kelly's laptop. The transaction came at the very worst time of the month against my PayPal account. By default the money came out of my regular bank account one day before my blog ad revenue came in. Not good timing at all. May was not a fantastic month as it was, but I really didn't need that.
Hopefully the bank will reverse the charges but I haven't heard back yet. I need to get new boots (the sole blew out while hiking) and some clothes which no longer fit me, and in some cases getting a bit thread bare and "holey". But for now that will all have to wait.
Perhaps all that triggered the dream that follows below, its not the same bank but the dream started out with a similar scenario...
I had a dream this morning. The location seemed to be my childhood city of Scottsdale Arizona, my dreams often take me back to my birth place State of Arizona. At the beginning was a scene of me in a bank trying to correct a banking error at Bank of America, they charged me a fee for something they shouldn't. I haven't banked at Bank of America since I closed my business in 2009 after a devastating illness that put me into ICU, but for some reason it was that bank in this dream.
The bank tellers were flat rude in the dream and since I didn't have much money in the account the treated me like I was barely even human. That kind of set the scene for what followed in the dream.
I decided to take a day labor job to raise some money. It was hot and I was helping some man down the street from my childhood home put in a wooden landscaping edger into his garden.
The man who hired me was a miserable short greedy man, big bald spot on his head and wrap around hair, kind of like the boss in Dilbert. He had this raging ego, he seemed to get his jollies and prestige in life by hiring people at very low wage and then demeaning them while they worked for him. There was another young guy working there and as we are digging in the hard decomposed granite landscaping soil to put this wood edger in, I grab a wood spike to nail to the cedar edger board that seemed to be made of Arizona ironwood.
Ironwood is a desert hardwood that grows very slowly, is extremely dense, and will not float in water. Navajos and Hopi Indians use it make jewelry and durable craft items, its usually cut with hacksaws and other metal tools. The sawdust irritates the lungs, and you have to wear a mask while working it. The best ironwood is found when the reservoirs get low, the trees that have been under water for a long time are better for jewelry. It seasons the wood some how. When I was 16 I made a silver ring band inlaid with ironwood all the way around it, which I still have. My father was an amateur silver and gold smith and he showed me how to cut the metal and solder it together.
As I grabbed this ironwood stake, I dusted it off a bit, and it looks like something that came from a very ancient temple. The wood is old and his tiny worm holes in it. I rub it, and notice that down one side of this thing is a rectangle of gold, about an inch wide by two inches by about 10 inches long, its embedded into the wood. I am thinking, "how did nobody notice this?" I quickly throw some dirt over it. Its very valuable. According to my waking calculations about US$ 238,000 worth of gold.
The man who hired me for the day, rants some more and just chews me out for doing a slow job, and he says he's paying me too much etc. etc... you have all probably worked for one of these kind of jerks sometime in your life. I have many times. They are ubiquitous. After he walks away I strip out the gold bar from the wood spike and stuff it in my pants and put my coat on over it (its fairly long and difficult to hide).
Mind you this is wood he bought from some recycled used wood supplier to save money, but he owned and supplied it for this project. He was too stupid to even know what he had, or even look at what he had. His life and way to riches was to pay nothing and demand everything. If I had hammered it into the ground it would have been lost to history, and I wasn't about to give him the gold after the verbal brow beating I just got. So I walked away from job as I finished the day and headed down to Old Town Scottsdale to find a gold dealer to convert it to cash. Lots of wealthy people in Scottsdale, lots of gold dealers too.
At this point I woke up... and felt very strange...
I just ripped off a guy for $280,000 in my dream! I like to think of myself as an honest guy and this started really bothering me. Why did I steal from this man in the dream? What did this mean? I try to be careful about other people's property. In my life I have gone to extraordinary means to even make sure the other party comes out slightly ahead on a transaction if there's any shadow of doubt. My father set a very good example in that regard with his own business. I witnessed him take a loss on some jobs just to preserve his personal integrity with the agreement that went over budget. My dad has his faults but honesty was not one of them, and he expected the same from his kids.
The more I laid there on my bed in the blue morning light, I realized this was another one of those dreams meant to show me some darker layer of myself to recognize and let go.
I started thinking about why I did what I did in the dream, what was motivating this whole scenario... and I realized at the core I had judged this miserable and miserly man... I wouldn't have done what I did to kind or honest man....or a generous man. I saw this man as being a man unfit for sudden wealth.... and I was his judge. I was the self-appointed one who judged, sentenced, and extracted his fine for his verbal abuse. I was giving him a lesson (and of course profit from it!). In the dream, the man never knew he had $280,000 worth of gold in his wood pile, so he would not even know a lesson took place. I wasn't going tell him either, because then I would have landed in dream jail for maybe what... 5 minutes?... and you never know what's in dream jail... LOL!!! But that was the chain of reasoning I had.
Yet the dream scenario was all motivated in the end by this abstraction of personal value called MONEY, I was responding to how the bank treated me as a lower class human being, not recognizing my intrinsic value as I AM in a human body. "They want money? I'll give them money..." kind of thing. And I preceded to deny who I really was for a piece of shiny yellow metal. That story is as old as the planet...
In the dream because I didn't have X amount of zeros in my bank account I was treated as a sub class of human being to be rejected, and that is a very REAL scenario in the waking world. "I'm sorry Mr Smith, your credit rating isn't good enough for a loan... " You've all heard that phrase in some dire moment when you need some quick cash. Yet strangely, a mega bank that just lost all its customers cash is always given more money...
I saw this gold bar as my opportunity to please my ego by putting more zeros in my bank account by selling another man's gold who didn't even know he possessed it. Yet when I awakened I felt just awful... as the dream was not true to who I believe myself to be. "I don't steal!", I told myself. Yet I do judge, and when I do judge, I find I withhold love.
There was an emotion and motive in this whole dream scenario, perhaps several, that I needed to recognize, as ugly as it was, and let it go.
Have I judged others, and then decided next on how I was going to treat them as a result? OH HELL YEAH! And that's really what this dream was about... teaching someone a lesson because "they had it coming!" All I really needed was a voice imitating Clinton Eastwood just as he blows the smoke from the end of his shiny gun... "Make my day punk!" Judge, jury and executioner rolled into one. The stuff of every western and revenge movie ever made.
The more I pondered that, I pondered the whole hypocrisy of judgement, and then I thought of judges who sometimes sentence innocent people, and also some really awful people to jail that nobody likes, for various crimes, and then sell prison bonds and jail bonds to JP Morgan (who in turn sell them to the Chinese). Judges are also the biggest investors in for profit prisons. Where's justice if there's profit to be made from the judgements? Its an inherent conflict of interest if it doesn't profit the court to acquit! No wonder they always force a plea bargain even when they have know the person is innocent!!!
And then there's the police agencies like the DEA, FBI, and local police authorities who confiscate property of drug dealers and other crimes, and then pocket that money to fund their departments, an out of legislative budget allocation way to fund the fancy military vehicles taken from people judged unworthy to possess property. The Canadian Government warned its own citizens not to carry large amounts of cash in the USA because police would confiscate on the presumption of it being of illegal origin... and getting it back takes more in legal costs than is lost. I realized that this sort of pirating on judgements is a fairly common thing on this planet, sitting in judgement and then profiting from the sentencing and punishment of others and the total utter hypocrisy of it all.
Does a man's poor character and personality or drug habits entitle anyone else to take his property?The answer of course should be no. He may have kids to feed too, do they deserve to suffer and become wards of the state because of confiscation? If its stolen property it needs to be returned to those it was taken from. Nobody will argue against that. But does a man smoking a joint deserve to lose his car or home? No. But it has happened. And just because someone uses cash rather than those monetized instruments called checks and credit cards, does not make them a thief, a terrorist, or a drug dealer. They could just like the privacy cash provides in a world were every transaction and electronic exchange is recorded an archived electronically forever. In a world ubiquitously monitored electronically, and seldom held accountable for what they do with that data, privacy becomes its own commodity and currency. I've overheard bankers in California talking privately about running credit reports on their romantic interests, and you know there's a lot of data mining for dirt that goes on in every election cycle.
The US Constitution had provisions for unreasonable search and seizure (which are are thoroughly ignored these days) but while people whine about it, they don't realize the reason they get away with it is that you are a not a party to the contract known as the US Constitution. It was formed to protect those who wrote it from each other! It applied to the signers and their heirs. There is no third party accommodation agreement in the US Constitution that applies to those born here, not even in the 1781 version. But fairy tale beliefs from childhood schooling about the nation we hold dear, about those brave founding fathers who fought crazy King George, and then sold the nation back to him and his Virginia company a few after it was all over. The founding fathers were landed gentry who still had the old ways running through them. There NEVER WAS A TRUE REPUBLIC! We want to believe we live in the land of the free and the brave, but in truth we have always lived on company land in a company town and buy via script at inflated prices at the company stores. Its a hermetic-ally sealed system (I hyphenate that with emphasis definiation 1b.).
Yet judgement is a convenient thing, its a bit like war propaganda, once you demonize a human being in the public mind, you can excuse doing most anything to them and might even get away with it as "being a defender or morals" or a "crime fighter". The Bible, the Flag, and Justice wrap many a scoundrel in the public light.
We are coming into a time where various crimes will be revealed to the public. Indeed there are tribunals forming in various common law groups to try such people. I was asked to be a part of one such group but felt for me personally it would be most inappropriate and not consistent with my I AM declaration to sit in judgement of another instance of I AM in body. I don't judge other who choose to sit in judgement. But for me, and this path of mine right now... no way.
I don't know how all this judgement on this planet that is about to happen will go down exactly. There is a certain balancing of energies that needs to occur on this planet as the playing field is made equal for all human beings. But I do I know I don't want to be a part of any such system or tribunal. If it does go down in the manner it seems to be going, I hope those doing it don't profit from it personally or their institution they work for, for that would surely be hypocrisy and no better than what is going on now.
As to the personal hidden layers in my psyche, well I am sure they'll keep coming up in the dream time to deal with, because its my intention to clear every last bit of it. From whatever moment, life, or multidimensional aspect of my told SELF in I AM, it may have originated in. It served its purpose for experience, but time to move on to better things.
I love you all!